I'M TOO WEIRED TO LIVE BUT MUCH TOO RARE TO DIE!!!!!!!!

A couple of weeks passed by and the tour was going great. I was dream-free and much to my surprise, our fans adored Maddie. There were now Maddie Mayhem fansites, t-shirts, pins, and other crap like that. All the guys in the band loved how big she was getting.

I, on the other hand, hated it. She had more fucking fans than I did. And I'm Synyster Gates.

I had gotten a lot more irritated with Maddie, lately. Mostly because of this but also because she confused me. She was going through mood swings, and I had no idea why. This wasn't like her at all.

Maddie was normally a perky little girl with a smile plastered on her face. But recently, her smile was replaced by a small frown and she sat pouting most of the time. At first, I didn't bother with it. Her minor depression was like a vacation for me. But then after a week, I got a little worried.

Yes, I got worried.

The day I asked her was our first photo shoot on the tour and our first ever without… him. "Maddie," my voice quietly crept out. She fingered through her hair as we both waited to have our makeup done. "Maddie," I said louder so she could hear me.

"Hm?" she asked innocently, flashing me a pair of puppy dog eyes.

"Uh," I stumbled on my words. I didn't know how to ask it without showing that I gave a rats ass about her. "What the fuck is up with you?" I guess I did know.

Her face squinted together in a confused matter. "What do you mean?" she asked, turning back to the mirror to tend to her hair again.

"I mean, you're like… all … y'know… sad and shit." Wow, Synyster, you are an eloquent young man, aren't you?

"I'm not sad," she said giggling, "Why would you think I'm sad?"

"Well, because…" And now I was frustrated. "What's up with all the fucking questions?" I said annoyed.

Maddie started to crack up, "All the fucking questions? I've only asked you two, Brian."

I bit down on my lip and glared at her. "Whatever," I muttered. This only caused her to laugh even more.

"Oh Brian," she sighed after a moment, relieved of her giggles, "you're so cute." Her hand came up to rest on my bear shoulder, giving me goose bumps. I felt my cheeks blush and my mouth hang open a bit.

This is the second time she'd called me that. "Cute". And still it made me blush. And still I had no idea how I could ever be cute. So I looked it up in the dictionary:

Cute - adjective

1. Attractive, especially in a dainty way; pleasingly pretty: a cute child; a cute little apartment.

2. Affectedly or mincingly pretty or clever; precious: the child has acquired some intolerably cute mannerisms.

3. Mentally keen; clever; shrewd.

All right. Number one: Attractive in a dainty way? Yeah. Right. If by dainty they mean wicked, then sure. And I will never ever be compared to a "cute child" or a "cute little apartment".

Number two: I don't even know what the fuck that means. Moving on.

Number three: Well, this can't possibly be the definition she's referring to because I'm dumber than a fuckin' two by four.

Maddie and I were then called into the room to do our individual and double shots. We made brutal poses and stood back to back, holding our guitars in different positions. The photographers told us to then to a pose which involved Maddie standing in front of me, gripping the neck of her guitar, and myself standing behind her with my arms wrapped around her waist.

I hesitated before doing this, but as soon as Matt shot me that oh so familiar glare I was persuaded to follow the photographer's orders. My tops of my fingertips rested on her hips and I moved my body back so I wasn't touching her. The photographer asked if I could hold her closer in a more "intimate" way.

I inched my fingers a bit more around her body. Jimmy yelled, "Syn, stop being such a pussy and touch the girl!" Maddie snickered and I looked angrily at her, but of course she couldn't see because her back was to me. I rolled my eyes, fed up with their comments, and yanked Maddie so close to me that not even a piece of tracing paper could get between us. She gasped at the sudden movement, but then moaned. Or sighed. Or maybe a combination of the two?

"This intimate enough for ya?" I asked annoyed. He said it was perfect. He snapped the shots. And we were done for the day.

Done with work that is. We headed over to meet the girls at the nearest mall to hang out for a couple of hours, then go out for dinner since we didn't have a show that night.

I really didn't want to go to the mall. If I had a choice I would have stayed back in the bus and slept. But oh no, because Michelle is going I have to go too, according to Matt.

As Matt, Jimmy, Johnny, Maddie, and I waited for the other girls to show up, I decieded to have myself a nice, relaxing smoke.

I brought the cigarette to my lips and lit it with my lighter. I felt Maddie's eyes on me. My eyes darted in her direction to find her glaring at me. After letting out a drag I said, "What?"

She cleared her though with an Ahem and said, "You're smoking."

"Good job!" I said patting her on the back and talking to her like she was a baby, "Now, what is that lady doing over there? What color are those shoes in that window?"

She squinted her eyes and puckered her lips. "You said you were quitting."

"Correction," I said, holding the cigarette between my fingers. "You said I was quitting."

"But you¾ "

I cut her off with the childish gesture of holding my hands to my ears and saying, "Lalalalalalala-I-can't-hear-you-lalalalalalala."

Just then I was tackled to the ground by a girl and I was about to call security until I realized it was Michelle.

"Syn!" she said, squeezing the air from my lungs, "I missed you so much!"

"I, uh, missed you too," I choked out. I looked to Maddie who was looking off in the other direction, twirling her hair like always.

"Hey babe," Matt said to Val as they kissed. And Jimmy said it to Leana. And Johnny said it to Lacey. And Michelle was still hugging me. And Maddie just stood there awkwardly playing with her hair.

After we greeted one another Leana thought it would be nice for the guys to go shopping by themselves and the girls to go shopping by themselves so that we wouldn't get into arguments about which stores to go into. I instantly thought this was a bad idea.

Now sure, Leana is a great girl. So is Val and so is Lacey. And I'm sure those three would give a warm welcome to Maddie and make her feel right at home. But Michelle… Michelle might scratch her eyes out.

Just as we were about to go our separate ways, I spoke up and said, "I think I'll go with the girls." As I said this, all the guys gave me looks of what-the-hell-are-you-doing? But then Matt seemed to understand something and his face changed. He gave me a wink.

Shit, I though, he probably thinks I want to be with Michelle.

Nevertheless, we split up. The guys went one way, and the girls and I went the other. First store: Victoria's Secret. I praised my decision to go with the girls instead of the guys. Because if you're a guy going into a lingerie store with a girl or a bunch of girls, then you look like a pimp and it's okay. But if you're a guy going by yourself or with a bunch of other guys, you look homosexual or creepy.

As we entered the store, Maddie pulled my arm and whispered in my ear, "Why did you come with us?"

"Because I um…" Because I don't want you to die. "I… uh…" I couldn't think of a single excuse.

"Because you like Michelle," she sing-songed, eyes on the ground.

"I don't like Michelle, I don't even know Michelle," I said to her, hoping she'd believe me.

"I don't think so…" she said, smiling as she turned her face up to mine. I gazed down at her. This was almost like how my dream started. I was about to find out if it really was or not, until the girls called us.

"Are you guys coming or are you going to wait until we come out?" They all laughed at Val's joke and we made our way through Victoria's Secret.

Unfortunately, I couldn't go in the dressing room but I did eye fuck all of the naked mannequins while I waited for the girls to finish.

We left Victoria's Secret and moved onto the next store: Abercrombie and Fitch. As we walked to the next store I noticed that Maddie had a signature pink striped shopping bag from Victoria's Secret. I whispered in her ear, "Did you buy yourself a new work uniform?" And chuckled. Her mouth dropped but curled up in a smile. She playfully punched my arm and called me an asshole. I grinned. I thought my joke was pretty damned funny.

After arriving at Abercrombie and Fitch and experiencing only two minutes inside it, I was ready to leave. Who the fuck plays deafening techno in a clothing store? I'm there to shop, not get drunk and rave.

I sat down on the bench outside the store while the girls bought half a sandal for twenty fucking dollars. As I waited, Maddie emerged from the store, smelling head to toe like cologne, and sat down beside me.

It was silent for a few moments until Maddie spoke out. "Bored?" she asked.

I slowly turned my head in her direction. "No, I'm having the time of my life."

She smiled. "You look tired." I shot her a sarcastic face that said Really? Then she suggested, "Let's go in the mattress store."

She jumped up with an ecstatic smile on her face but I stayed sitting. "Need help getting up, grampa?" she said teasingly. I imitated her in a high pitched voice and said No as I helped myself up. I slugged behind her to the mattress store. This was actually a very good idea because I was falling asleep standing up.

I entered the store and crashed on the first bed I saw, my face planted into the mattress. "Let's go to the back," Maddie said, pulling on my arm. I moaned into the bed and pushed myself up.

After finding a mattress in the back of the store, like Maddie wanted to, I situated myself on it. I laid on my back and looked at the white tiled ceiling dotted with fans. I put my hands behind my head and closed my eyes. "Why did you wanna come all the way back here anyways?" I asked, my eyes shut.

I felt the bed dip to one side as she climbed in with me. "Because then the store people can't see you sleeping and kick you out." It moved as she let her head rest next to mine.

I chuckled and sighed, fatigue taking over me. The bed shifted again and a soft hand fingered through my hair. I opened one eye to see Maddie up on one elbow, playing with my hair. She saw that I was looking at her.

"I really like your hair," she breathed, going back to her business, "What kind of conditioner do you use?"

I laughed. "Fuck if I know."

She laughed at my statement as well. Her fingers methodically ran through my hair. She massaged my scalp and rubbed my temples. She could have been a fucking massage therapist. I moaned allowed as she kneeded the back of my neck. "God that feels good."

She giggled and used one hand to push her own hair behind her ears. She laid back down next to me. "Aw Maddie," I pouted, giving her a face of innocence.

She smiled. "Later," she said quietly.

It was awkwardly silent between us. Our eyes were locked. I couldn't think straight. The only thing in my mind was her, Maddie. Now this has to be a dream, I thought to myself as I inched closer and closer to her face.

Just then, she spoke out. "Do you like me?" I stopped cold.

"Do I l-like you?" I sputtered out.

"Yeah. Do you like me?"

I didn't know how to answer that. What did she mean like? My mouth hung open but I didn't say anything. Only idiotic sounds came out once in a while.

Then I heard Michelle. "I thought I'd find you guys in here!" she came and jumped on the bed, Lacey, Leana, and Val behind her. I sat up and straightened my hair out.

"Why'd you come in here?" asked Val giggling. Everyone laughed except Maddie and I. Val proceeded to ask Maddie a question. "So, Maddie, what are you wearing tonight?"

"Um…," she thought, "I don't know," she chuckled.

"You don't know?" laughed the girls. "Well what did you bring?" asked Lacey.

"Just jeans and crap," Maddie said, then glared at me, "Someone made me repack."

"Syn!" the girls yelled.

"She had like five fucking trunks, okay? I was doing her a favor!"

"There were only three," Maddie said in her defense.

"Well, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you don't have a dress and you need one!" Leana said. "We're definitely getting you one. Like, now. Bye Syn."

They hoisted Maddie off the bed and scurried away.

"What do you mean Bye Syn?" I asked.

"We mean, this is a girl thing," Val said. "Go find the guys."

So I got off the bed and I did. Why did she need a stupid dress anyways? Oh yeah… dinner… this is why I like just eating at McDonald's or Lean Cuisine meals at home… Shit! I thought, What am I gonna wear?!

After meeting Michelle at the bar, she asked me to dance. I said yes, being the kind gentleman that I am, and we went to dance in the middle of the floor. Michelle and I got awfully close. Physically, that is. We got physically close to each other.

So close that our mouths and tongues were touching. My hands might have also been close to her body. They might have been up her shirt. I was so drunk last night and that's all I can recall. I have no idea who saw or where else it led to. I didn't even know that girls last name.

"Isn't Michelle great?" Matt asked, walking into the area of the tour bus where I was resting. My brows rose and I looked towards him. I also noticed another person in the 'room'.

Maddie sat on the couch parallel to the table I sat at. She didn't seem to pay attention because she was engrossed in her laptop and had headphones in her ears. The question Matt had asked must have not been a rhetorical one, because he said, "Fine, don't answer me."

"What? Oh yeah, she's great," I said, exhaustion dripping from my words.

"You two were getting pretty intimate there, Syn," he said, wiggling his eyebrows like a cartoon character.

I gulped. I hoped he didn't see what we were doing. I felt myself blush and a pair of blue eyes fix themselves on me. I glanced up for a moment to meet them. As our eyes met, she looked away. I guess Maddie could hear.

I refocused my sight towards Matt, who was smiling like the devil. "So, did ya kiss her?" His white teeth gleamed in his mouth.

"No," I said with no hesitation or stutter.

He gave me the look that said Are you sure? and said, "Okay," and situated himself in the chair across from the table. "Mads," he said, louder so that she could hear.

She pulled the iPod buds out of her ears and looked up innocently. "Yes?"

"How did you like Michelle?"

I winced on the inside. If there was one thing I did remember from last night, it was Maddie definitely hating Michelle. But to my surprise, she said in a sweet voice, "Oh, I love Michelle. She's such a wonderful person!" She smiled widely, like the smile you give a camera man when he says Cheese.

I grinned and thought to myself, Bullshit.

"We hit it off amazingly," she said, folding her laptop over and placing it next to her. "But, not quite as amazingly as you and her did, Brian," with a snippy tone.

"Yup, not quite," I said back, just as snippy. She immediately looked down. Man, I could be an ass. She makes me feel so terrible sometimes, and other times I feel like a god.

"So, you guys liked her then?" Matt asked again.

"I think we've established that," I said, sinking back in my seat.

"Ok good," he said, standing, "Because she's gonna be following us around on tour with Val, Leana, and Lacey."

I've always been single on tour. I hate it. I can't handle a girlfriend and touring at the same time. There's just too many temptations: groupies, drugs, alcohol, etc. I did have a girl once, she dumped me within a week of the tour starting. As much as I'd love to have a girlfriend, I don't want to hurt her. So that's why I'm single and always will be.

It could also be because I'm terrible person. I drink, I smoke, I fuck, I sin. I'm not trustworthy. I can be the world's biggest pain in the ass when I want to. I hurt people's feelings. I'm not a nice guy.

Knowing all of this just confused myself even more when I met Maddie. I was actually nice to her. And when I was a jerk, she was still kind to me. Usually when I pull that kind of shit, I get a slap across the face. But the most I've ever gotten out of her is a dirty look.

"Syn?" I heard a voice. I snapped from my reverie. It was Johnny. "I'm going in the gas station, you want anything?"

"I'll come with," I said, slowly rising and stretching my body. Johnny and I walked off the bus and into the gas station.

"So, Syn," started Johnny, throwing every ounce of junk food into out shopping basket. I sighed with annoyance. If he was going to ask me about Michelle I swear to God… "What do you think of Maddie?"

Maddie? Hm, haven't been asked that one in a while. "I dunno," I replied, mindlessly dropping bags of snacks in the plastic holder

"Of course you know," Johnny said back with a smile. "I mean, do you think she's nice, funny, a good guitar player, a cute girl¾ " I cut him off.

"I think she's a bitch, if that's what you're getting at," I snorted.

"Why do you think she's a bitch?" Johnny asked, slightly stunned at my answer.

"I can have my own opinion," I defended myself.

"Yeah, you can have your own opinion, but not without some evidence," Johnny stated. "Now, how on earth is this girl a bitch?"

I paused to think about it as we loaded up on beer and Red Bull at the cooler. "Well, she's… not nice to me," I said immaturely.

"So she's mean to you?"

"Yeah."

"Syn, she's everything but mean to you."

"You know what, shut up," I said, crossing my arms like a child. "I can think she's a bitch if I want to. And she is. A bitch."

Johnny rolled his eyes. "Whatever Syn, I just wish my girlfriend would look at me the way Maddie looks at you." He stomped off to the cashier, not looking back.

I spent a moment to take in what he had just said. "Wait," I said following him, "What do you mean?"

"Nothing," Johnny said dryly, stacking the goods on the counter. "Just go back in the bus, Syn."

And I did. I huffed at his statement. What the fuck did he mean by that? Maddie doesn't like me like that. And I sure as fucking hell don't like her like that. Stupid ugly bitch. I hate her. I can't stand Maddie.

I jumped up the steps of the bus, but missed one, and face-planted straight into the floor of the vehicle. "Fuck," I muttered into the ground.

I didn't have to see them because I could hear Matt and Jimmy laughing hysterically at my mishap. I got my arms into a pushup position and started to lift my body off the ground when I felt someone's hands on me and stopped.

I turned my head to see Maddie was kneeling next to me. "Don't move," she said calmingly, "Your head and lip are bleeding." So I laid there like she told me otherwise. She left and returned quickly with a wet rag and some Band-Aids.

"Here, sit up," she ordered peacefully, placing a hand on my back to help me. I sat there on the steps of our bus like a 1^st grader who had just scuffed his elbow on the playground as she tended to my simple wounds.

"There, the bleeding has stopped on your lip, but your head hasn't so I put a bandage there. Are you okay?" she asked, gently rubbing my head.

"I'm fine," I said, feeling embarrassed as Johnny walked up to the bus.

"Whoa, what happened here?" Johnny asked, climbing the steps and passing me and Maddie.

"Wittle Synyster had a wittle ax-ee-dent," Matt scoffed, pouting his lips.

"He had a gweat big fawll!" said the Rev, changing his tone of voice to match Matt's.

The three of them started giggling.

"Fuck you," I grumbled, massaging the back of my head. I got myself up and headed to my bunk.

"Do you want some medicine or something to help your head?" Maddie asked.

"No. I just want to go to sleep," I said gruffly, flopping into my bed. "Tell me when we're in…" I drew a blank. I had no idea what city we were playing in next. No one was listening to me anyways, so I didn't finish.

I just rested my head against my pillow and sighed. Why does she have to be so fucking nice to me? I thought. I tried to sleep, feeling like a moron for saying what I said. But I couldn't doze off; Matt, Jim, and Johnny still taunted me in the other room.

I closed my eyes, letting lassitude overcome my body. I opened them when I heard someone open the curtain to my bunk. It was, of course, Maddie.

I shut them again, to pretend like I was sleeping. "Brian?" she whispered, stroking my forehead.

I moaned. "What?" I said annoyed.

"Don't let them get to you," she said, "They're just being jerks right now. They'll forget about it." I didn't reply. I didn't look at her. I didn't even acknowledge the fact that she was alive.

"Brian," she cooed. I decieded to look at her, which was a bad decision because after I did I couldn't tear my eyes away.

Her chocolate brown hair was slung to one side in a pony tail. Her eyes glistened with the light outside my bunk. Her glossy lips curled in a smile.

I returned her smile, which grew into a smirk. Her fingers on my head slowly made their way into my hair. Our faces inched towards each other. It took only a few moments until they were treacherously close. We locked eyes, unable to stop gazing. My tongue darted out to wet my lips and went in for the kill.

I grabbed her face with my hands and she did the same to me. Our mouths crashed together and relentlessly went about kissing. Her tongue tangled with mine, ran against my teeth, along the sides of my cheeks, my whole mouth.

My hands moved from her head to her shoulders, pulling her into my bed with me. She obliged by scrambling in and straddling my legs in the small, closed in bunk.

Now that we were both situated, I commenced with giving her ass a good squeeze. In return, she moaned an "Oh, Syn" into my mouth, causing my pants to become tighter. Our lips smacked together and our jean-clad groins thrusted against each others.

Just as I was about to shimmy her shirt off, her lips ripped from mine and my eyes opened widely. I sat up abruptly, knocking my already injured head against the ceiling. I looked around the darkness. Maddie was gone. My heart pounded in my chest and my hard member throbbed in my pants.

I was confused for a minute, still searching in the shadows of my bunk for Maddie. But then, after laying back down and coming to my senses, I realized it was just a dream and Maddie was never really in my bunk.

I woke up unbearably early the morning after hearing Maddie's life story. I stretched my long frame in the small bunk and my limbs hit both sides. I grunted and tried to sit up, but instead I hit my head. I flopped back down in the bed, rubbing the back of my head. I glanced at my watch. It was 5:30 in the morning.

"What the fuck!" I said in a loud whisper. I should be asleep. I laid on my back and closed my eyes, trying to fall back into slumber. But I heard music. It was a strange song, obviously sung by a female, telling people that she is a genie in a bottle and asking them to let her out. Then my memory suddenly came to me.

Who the fuck turned on Christina Aguilera?, I asked myself. That seems like something Zacky would do… I just made myself fell bad. I flipped over on my stomach and covered my head with my pillow, trying to block out the downhill pop diva. Somehow I knew the words to the catchy song and I started singing along with the radio. That's when I'd finally had it.

This must end.

I rolled out of my bunk (literally rolled out and fell on the floor). "Fuck!" I cursed under my breath, grabbing at my head. I seemed to be out to get myself today. The girl-pop music flooded my ears. I glared at where the sounds were coming from.

Maddie. I should have known.

She stood at the stove in pink Juicy Couture sweat pants (don't ask how I know that) and a tight, white tee-shirt. Her long hair was up in a messy bun and she was cooking something on the stove. She was moving slightly and singing to the music that came from the boom box.

The Genie Song ended and another came on. "Rob the jewelry store and tell 'em make me a grill". Maddie gasped in excitement. She moved her body to the music, flipping pancakes on the stove. Her lips came together as she hummed the melody.

"Smile for my daddy," she sang along.

"Whatchya lookin' at?" the song answered.

"I wanna see your grillz!" she sang.

"You wanna see my what?"

"Ya, ya grillz. Ya, ya, ya grillz," she stopped cooking and was now totally into the music, "Got the whole top diamond and the bottom row gold!"

She turned around to grab something from the table behind her and saw me. She took in a breath of air and then let out a puny scream. She backed up to the stove and let her hands fall on it. She cursed aloud as her hands automatically came up from the heat of the stove. "You scared the shit out of me!" she said as she inspected her burnt fingers.

"Well, maybe I wouldn't have scared the shit out of you," I said as I picked myself off the ground, "if you hadn't have been blasting that Top 40 shit while everyone's asleep."

She looked perplexed at me. "Asleep?" she questioned. "Brian, it's like almost noon"

"No it's not," I said glancing at my watch. "See, it says 5:40 AM right here." I pointed at my watch to prove my point. She pointed at the clock on the stove which read 11:40 AM. "But, but…" I said trying to defend myself.

She opened up the curtains. My jaw dropped. How on Earth could my watch be that off? She smirked and stuck her tongue out.

"If it's really almost noon, then why is everyone still asleep?" I asked, trying to get her.

"They're not," she said, going into the freezer. "They're in the back playing video games."

And of course, then I heard the computer-like sounds of video games going off in the back room. I had been beaten. "Want some breakfast?" she asked, holding ice on her hands.

"Are you okay?" I asked, ignoring her question.

She looked at her hands. "I guess so. They just hurt like hell."

"Let me take a look at them," I said getting up and approaching her.

"No, I'll be fine," she said turning away.

"No, really. Just let me see them."

She gave in and handed her hands over to me. I removed the icepack and inspected the burn marks. They weren't that bad. Her fingertips were red and her palms slightly, but other then that they looked fine. I touched the red with one of my fingers and she winced with pain.

"Are you gonna be okay to play tonight?" I asked.

"I should be. Why? You don't think so?" she asked in a worried tone.

"No, no, no," I said rubbing her hands. "They look ok. I was just wondering because they seem to hurt you a lot."

"I'll be fine."

"Want me to bandage them up?"

"No, I'm ok," she said. There was an awkward silence of us just standing there. Neither of us said a word for at least five minutes. And after that allotment of time, I realized I was still holding her hands.

I dropped them like they were on fire. "Uh…" I started, "Sorry…" I finished.

She muttered something I couldn't hear and then spoke up. "So, do you want breakfast or not? Before the other guys come and eat it all," she said with a smile.

I thought about it for a moment. I wasn't really hungry at all. If I said no, her smile would fade and I'd feel like shit again. She seems to always make me feel that way. But if I were to say yes, then her smile would grow even larger and she'd hurry to fix me up a plate of whatever she made. I'd feel like a million bucks. "Yeah, sure," I said nonchalantly.

Her eyes light up and she went to get me the food she had prepared. I felt all tingly inside. My prediction had come true.

It was an hour before our first show of the tour in San Francisco. We all chilled backstage in the green room as the warm up band, CKY, did their thing. Matt was making out with his girlfriend on the chair, Jimmy and Johnny were playing "War" with cards, and I was relaxing on the couch with a cool beer in my hand.

"God, could you two get a room?" I said in a pissy tone to Matt and Val. They either didn't hear me or were ignoring me because their faces were still plastered together. I rolled my eyes and got up from my comfy couch and went for a walk around the backstage.

Hm, I thought to myself, I wonder where Maddie is… Just as I finished that sentence, I stumbled over something and fell on the ground, sending my beer flying. I looked to see what I had tripped on. Guess I found Maddie.

She was sitting Indian style with her back against the cement wall. Next to her was an amp and plugged into the amp was her guitar and a set of headphones. She pulled the headphones down so that they were around her neck. "Sorry, Brian!" she said, "I didn't mean to--"

I cut her off. "Yeah, it's fine." I stared longingly at my spilt beer. Not a drop was left. She saw what I was looking at.

"I can go get you another one if you want," she said, still sounding sorry.

"It's fine, I said."

"Ok…" she said. There was a silence between us. I finally spoke up just as she was about to put the headphones back on.

"What are you doing anyway?" I asked, trying not to sound interested.

She looked up as if to say 'Who, me?' and said "Practicing."

I gave her a blank stare. "You're practicing?" I asked.

"Well… yeah?" she said.

"You're practicing an hour before a show?"

"Actually it's like 45 minutes now…"

"That's even worse!" I yelled throwing my hands up. "What don't you know?"

"I know everything!" she yelled back. "Well, okay, not everything but you know what I mean."

"No, I don't."

"I'm just…" She was frustrated, I could tell. "I'm just scared. I don't wanna fuck this up for you guys." She paused. "I'm nervous."

I sighed. She's really good at making me feel like complete shit. "Well, what are you nervous about? Play me something," I said.

She itched the back of her head. She unplugged the headphones so that I could hear too and then she went through a bunch of our riffs with perfection. Not a wrong note or misplayed chord.

"Not bad," I said, not wanting to give her too much confidence. Confidence is a killer. She just sighed and turned off the amp. "Come on, let's go back to the green room," I said while getting up. She sort of struggled to stand, I guess from sitting that long, but I didn't give her a helping hand.

Once we were back in the green room, time flashed by quickly. It was 10 minutes before we had to go on and we were all getting ready. Matt and Val had finally stopped sucking face and Matt was putting on makeup. We were all putting on makeup. Shut up; Real men wear eyeliner.

Maddie paced back and forth with her guitar strap on. From time to time she stopped to try and catch her breath normally, but she would always go back to pacing.

"Mads, get over here," Matt said in a joking way. She scurried over.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Are you okay?" he asked her, his hands on her shoulders and looking her deep in her eyes. Oh, what happened to Val, Matt? I said to myself, applying eyeliner to my face.

"Yeah, just a little nervous."

"You're gonna do great," he said encouragingly.

"I'll mess up…" she said turning away.

He turned her back to him. "No you won't. Besides, even if you do mess up, it's not like any of us hasn't messed up before. Right, guys?" he asked us turning to face us. Johnny and Jimmy both nodded and agreed with him. I didn't say anything.

"Syn, you know you mess up all the fucking time," Matt said to me. Maddie started giggling which triggered the other two guys to start.

"I do not," I said, finishing my makeup.

"Yes you do! You have never played a perfect show," he said. He turned his back to Maddie and made a face of urgency. He mouthed "Shut up" and subtly pointed behind him.

I realized what he was doing.

"I guess I make some mistakes once in a while."

He rolled his eyes. "He's just trying act cool, Mads. He really does fuck up all the time. So it's no big deal," he said making her smile.

"Thanks… all you guys," she said twirling her hair. "I thought that this was going to suck and that you all would hate me…" she paused and outlined circles on the ground with the tip of her shoes. "But you've really made me feel welcome."

"GROUP HUG!" Johnny said in a 'gay man' voice. They all shared a hearty laugh and wrapped their arms around each other.

"Come on, Syn," said the Rev, imitating Johnny's voice. "You know you wanna."

I chuckled. "I think I'll pass on the hug." Then I did something stupid.

I looked at Maddie.

Her doll-like face and puppy dog eyes pleading me to come over and join in the hug had a magnetic force on me. Before I knew it, I was practically in the middle of the 'group hug'. This girl is some sort of witch, I tell you.

"A7X, you're on!" yelled one of the stage men.

"Let's do this!" yelled Matt as the hug was broken and we all made our way for the stage.

Maddie had more composure now. She seemed as if she could take anything on. Then I remembered something.

"Hey," I said, grabbing her before she could make it to the stage.

"What?" she asked, kind of annoyed.

"You never told me why you were a stripper." Wow, Syn, I thought. You are fucking retarded. Why the fuck would you ask her that right before the show? Like, RIGHT BEFORE!

"Well…" she said. Wow, she's actually gonna answer it. "I needed the cash, and people always told me how pretty I was and what a nice body I had… so I just figured, why not put it to good use?"

I thought about her answer for a while. Actually, not a while. More like five seconds, because now we were being pushed out onto the stage.

As the enormous crowd came into her view, Maddie's eyes grew large. They all chanted "Se-ven-fold! Se-ven-fold!" And right before I thought she was going to faint at Shadows' talk of "Beast and the Harlot", she closed her eyes, felt the music, and started to play.

By the end of the show, the audience went from shouting "Sevenfold" to "Mayhem". It was a total shock to all of us, Matt included, but they adored Maddie.

After shows, we usually go clubbing and tonight we were going to go all night. It was a crowded bar where we thought no one would recognize us. We were wrong.

Several teenagers came up and asked for our autographs and pictures. Lots of hormonal 15 year old boys asked Maddie to kiss them on the cheek. She, being the oh so kind person that she is, did so.

"See, Maddie, you did an incredible job," said Jimmy patting her on the back.

"Thanks," she blushed.

"You deserve some sorta'award or somethin'," said Johnny, already drunk and falling off his barstool.

"We all did an amazing job," she said raising her glass of light beer. "To Avenged Sevenfold!" she said drinking, we all did the same.

This time Matt raised his glass. "And also, to Maddie Mayhem!" They all drank to that. I didn't. I knew I was going to get yelled at again, so I decieded to step out for a cigarette.

I rested my back up against the brick wall of the outside of the bar. I reached in the pocket of my jeans for my carton of cigarettes. I was surprised to find it wasn't there. I checked the other pocket. No cigs.

I checked my back pockets, knowing they wouldn't be there because I never put them there. No cigs. What a shock.

I was starting to get pissed now. "Where the fuck are my cigarettes!?" I yelled to no one. But I did get a response.

"You left them inside."

I spun around to meet the person talking to me. Should have known.

Maddie stood there like an innocent child holding out my pack of Marlboros to me. I shot her a good glare before snatching the pack away from her. I took out a long, white, cylinder and held it between my lips. My hand went back into my pocket for my lighter, but came out when I saw Maddie holding that up as well.

I lit up. The smoke filled my lungs. I let it sit there for a moment, then exhaled it through my nose. I was at ease. That is, until I heard childish giggling. I opened an eye and peered at Maddie.

She was the one laughing, obviously. I gave her a look as to say "What?". She smiled widely and said, "You look like a dragon."

I raised a brow, confused.

"When you let the smoke come out your nose," she said trying to aid me, "You looked like a dragon."

I then got it. A smile tugged at the corner of my lips. I half chuckled. Then she started giggling again and I couldn't help myself. We both shared a hearty laugh and after it was dead silence.

"Why'd you come outside?" she asked, joining me up against the wall.

I shrugged. "I dunno. I don't feel like getting bitched at again."

"Bitched at by who?"

"Matt," I said taking in a drag.

"Oh…" she said. "Why would he bitch at you?" These questions sounded like they were coming from a two year old.

I couldn't tell her "Because I don't like you". So I replied with the ever intelligent answer of "I dunno."

She seemed satisfied. She started twirling her hair. She ran her fingers through her hair, collecting pieces of it, then wrapped the long brown strands around her finger, held them for about five seconds, then released them. It was a pattern of hers I had had mastered for a while now.

Maddie had really pretty hair… "You have really pretty hair…"

My heart stopped. My eyes dilated. My hands clenched.

I have to stop thinking out loud.

I didn't even want to look at her then.

But I heard her tiny, little voice say, "Thanks Brian, you have really pretty hair too." I felt I could look at her then. She was ginning widely. She almost looked like one of those Japanese cartoon characters. Long hair, long legs, big eyes, big smile, big boobs. She was like the brunette Sailor Moon.

"You really shouldn't smoke," I heard her say, interrupting my thoughts.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked.

"You really shouldn't smoke," she said a great deal louder.

"I heard you the first time."

"Oh. Well, you shouldn't."

"Okay," I said throwing my cigarette butt on the ground and lighting up another.

"You know what it's like kissing a smoker? It's like liking an ashtray. I bet your girlfriend wouldn't like that," she nagged.

"Good thing I don't have one then, huh?" I said smirking.

"Every time you take in a drag, you're killing yourself." She sounded like my mom.

"Does it look like I care?" I asked, taking in another drag.

"Well, every time you let out a drag, you're killing me," she said crossing her arm. She had a devious grin on her face, like she had caught me in a trap. "Second hand smoke, hello?"

I decieded to let her win this time. I put out my cigarette. "Yay!" she said smiling.

She grabbed my pack from my and threw it in a nearby trashcan. "Hey, hey, hey!" I yelled, "I never said I was quitting!"

"Well you are now," she said with a smirk. "Besides," she added, "You're too cute to smoke."

I felt a tingly sensation in my groin. No girl had ever called me "cute" before. Cute? Synyster fucking Gates is cute?

But for some reason, it was okay for her to call me that. Just like it was okay for her to call me Brian.

"And you're too cute to strip," I mumbled under my breath. She didn't hear me. I hoped.

"Wanna go back inside?" she asked, "I'm pretty sure Matt forgot all about it."

I sighed. "Yeah, sure."

When we got inside, we saw Johnny, Jimmy, and Matt who was with two girls. Val, and some chick [who looked just like her] I had never seen before. "Hey Syn!" Matt said cheerfully. I guess he had forgotten. "I want you to meet Val's sister, Michelle."

"Hey!" she said energetically while looking me up and down," I'm Michelle!"

"Hey…" I said less energetically, not looking her up and down. I looked at Maddie. I don't know why, but I just did. And when I did look at her, I saw her giving this Michelle girl the dirtiest look I had ever seen her give anybody.

"Hey Michelle," Maddie said in a sarcastically happy tone, "I'm Maddie."

"Hey Maddie," Michelle said, in the same tone. "I've heard so much about you."

"I'm sure you have," she snapped back.

Can someone say, catfight?

"ZACK GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME WITH THAT!" I screamed as Zacky chased me with a garden hose. Although we were far from a garden; we were in the back ally way of a concert hall hours before our first show ever together.

"MAKE ME!" he taunted, spraying the cold water all over me as I sprinted to get away. He held the burgundy colored hose in his hands and smirked deviously at me. He had me cornered in the ally. "No where to run now, huh Syn?"

I looked around franticly for something to fire back at him and smiled when my eyes laid on the perfect weapon. Fight fire with fire is what I always say. My eyes found their way to another hose. Zacky's smirk was wiped clear off his face when he saw what I had spied.

I ran to it and turned it on as quickly as I could while Zacky fired freezing liquid at me. I countered him with his own attack. He fell backwards and was on his back. I got the rest of my revenge by uncontrollably showered him with water.

After I felt he had learned his lesson I ceased my vengeance upon the young Vengeance and let him get up. He was soaked to the bone as was I. He looked me up and down. "Asshole," he said with a grin.

"Dickhead," I replied ever so intelligently with the same grin.

He pushed me playfully. I pushed him back. There was an awkward silence between us. Out of the clear blue I felt lips upon mine.

My eyes dilated and my face became rouge. Zacky was kissing me. His arms gripped my biceps. He made no effort of slipping his tongue inside. He was shaking. No, that was me. But by the time I finally relaxed his touch was gone.

I could tell I looked shocked from Zack's face. He faintly blushed. "Sorry," he said, itching his head nervously, "You just looked really cute just then and… I don't know, I just…"

I silenced him with my mouth over his. It was his turn to be surprised. But he wasn't. He had much more sangfroid about the situation then I had.

His hands returned to their spot on my arms and mine went around his waist. He begged entrance to my mouth which I eagerly granted him. Our tongues clashed together. Our groins grinded against one another's. A moan escaped my lips and we grew closer together.

Then a vibrating sensation came over me below my belt. I was saddened when Zacky pulled away and I realized it was his cell phone. He pulled it out of his pocket with one hand still touching me. He read the text message and put the phone back in his jeans. "We gotta go," he said, his tough finally leaving me.

"Oh…" I said slightly disappointed. Where did that come from? I thought. I'm not gay. I looked at him and he looked at me. His lips turned into an upward shape. He planted a chaste kiss to my lips. I smiled.

We walked back into the concert hall dripping wet and with hands on each other's asses.

"Briannnnnnnnnnnnn," I heard a strangely happy voice squeal. Then I underwent what I thought was an earthquake but what turned out to be Maddie shaking the hell out of me. My eyes squinted open. A toothy grin was painted on her face. "Wake up sleepy head."

"No," I said turning around in my bunk to face the wall. She tugged on my arm and I shook her off. Then she pulled at my hair and I shook her off again. What started to really piss me off was her poking. She started poking me. At first I ignored it. But after a while (30 seconds) I couldn't take anymore.

"What the fuck do you want?!" I screamed.

Maddie was still smiling. "We're stopping for food. Do you want to eat or should I just let you go back to sleep?"

I groaned. "Well it's not like I can go back to sleep…" I muttered.

"What was that?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm getting up."

I was haggard. I desperately needed sleep. I hadn't gotten any in the past week because of… Zacky. He'd been haunting my dreams. I felt terrible going on tour without him. He was my best friend. He was my lover. He was everything. Oh, I didn't mention that before?

It was a small thing between us. Neither of us had girlfriends and it got pretty lonely on the road and… This sounds really gay (and literally it is): we just fell for each other. It's like your friend of the same sex at summer camp you like to "experiment" with.

Yeah, I guess you could say we liked "experimenting" with each other. But I am straight. I like women. I love women. A lot. Back to the story:

We had been on the road for only a few hours and were already stopping. We stop a lot. Do we really need to stop? No. Should we really be stopping? No. Do we fucking care? No.

The place we were going to eat at was a small pancake house (it was still morning). Everyone else was inside ordering so Maddie was the only one who came to get me. She was walking in front of me but then slowed her pace to walk by my side. She looked at me and smiled. I gave her the look of "What?".

"Get much sleep?" she asked inquiringly.

I glared at her. "Does it look like I got much sleep?"

Her eyes immediately went to the ground and her cheeks turned red. "Sorry…" she mumbled.

We walked the rest of the way into the restaurant in awkward silence.

It wasn't so bad once we got in. We found the guys sitting in a booth in the corner with their shades and hats on, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible but utterly failing. Maddie and I joined them, sitting on opposite sides of the booth. The look on her face…

While the rest of the guys laughed and joked around she just sat there seeming miserable. Was she acting like this because of me? I thought to myself. One half said, Good, she should feel like shit. Fuckin' bitch. And the other half said, I'm sorry Maddie, really I didn't mean to make you feel bad.

In the short amount of time I've known this girl, I have hated and loved her. Okay, maybe not quite hate or not quite love, but the less extreme versions of them: dislike and like.

Maddie is incredibly funny and can be charming when she wants to. She's gorgeous. She has amazing skills on the guitar. And that's about all the good I can say. Maddie is also a childish, stubborn, Valley Girl who gives brunettes a bad name. You can either hate or love this girl, and right now I can't decide between the two.

"So, Mads," said Matt. I rolled my eyes at his stupid nick-name for her. "Tell us about yourself."

She picked through her eggs and bacon and looked up coyly at him. "Tell you about myself?"

"Yeah," chimed in Johnny, "Like, about your life. Childhood, school, family, y'know."

"Oh," she said like she finally got it. Dumb ass, I thought, chuckling to myself. No one seemed to notice, or if they noticed they didn't care. "Well, I grew up in Las Vegas and moved to the OC when I was about 14."

"Why'd you move?" asked Jimmy.

"Job reasons. My dad was a… he had his own business and he could get better customers there." They nodded, almost in astonishment like she was telling the ancient history of the universe. She continued: "My childhood was actually pretty crappy," she laughed. "I went to a shitty high school. The kids were brutal. I got in fist fights every day…" she trailed off, chuckling at some parts. I was actually surprised. I could never picture her at a place like that, let alone getting in fights there.

She went on to tell us about her family. Her mom and dad had a bad relationship but refused to divorce. "My mom was a desperate bitch and my dad was a horny bastard," she said, taking a mouthful of eggs. After sliding them down her throat she finished, "They were meant for each other."

Maddie had two brothers (one of which was her twin) and she was the youngest. She went on and on about how her oldest brother, Caleb, was a medical doctor. He lived in Beverly Hills and was well known throughout California for his knowledge of medicine. She said nothing of her twin though. She didn't even tell us his name. I guess she didn't like him.

There was a long pause after she finished her life story. Then Jimmy asked, "What was your last job?"

She coughed into the cup of orange juice she was drinking. "Last job?"

"Yeah," he said, "Didn't you have a job before you auditioned?" We all laughed. Well, they all laughed. I pretended not to hear their conversation.

"Oh… yeah…" she said slowly. Her fork twirled in her food. "Um…" she started, "I was a…" She paused as if she forgot what she was going to say. "I was a dancer." Her head came up and she smiled at everyone.

"A dancer?" Matt asked with enthusiasm in his voice.

"Yes, a dancer," she replied crossing her arms.

"What kind of dancing?" asked Johnny who was also intrigued.

She thought. "It's hard to explain." Her hand went to her chin and she pursed her lips in thought. "It's like a mix of hip-hop, jazz, R&B, and techno. What ever music is playing, really."

"Where do you dance?" asked Matt, "Like with a company or something?"

"I guess you could call it a company," she said. And that was the end of the conversation.

It was time to leave so we paid the bill and walked lazily back to the bus. As soon as Matt, John, and Jim were far enough away from us, I decided to bring up that business card to Maddie.

I came up behind her and whispered in her ear, "Company? More like a strip joint." She halted in front of me and her skin became white. She turned around to face me.

"Excuse me?" she asked, not sure if I had actually said it. I wasn't even sure if I had actually said it.

"I saw your card on your table," I smirked and she grimaced. "Does Daddy know his little girl is a stripper?" Her dainty little hands gripped my jacket as firmly as they could (which was firm enough) and shoved me up against the wall of the restaurant.

"So you were snooping through my stuff," she said with rage in her voice. I was actually scared of this girl. She was strong.

"I, I, I…" I stuttered.

"If you say anything, if you tell a soul, I swear to God I will rip your balls off and use them as a hood ornament," she said sternly through clenched teeth.

"I… I wasn't gonna say anything, I just…"

"What?" Her hands fell from my body. "A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do."

I looked at her curiously. "What do you mean?"

She sighed. "You wanna know the real story about me?" she asked in a sympathetic voice. I could tell she was sorry for out bursting like that.

I nodded.

Breath escaped her lips. "I'll tell you later. Let's just get on the bus." I nodded again. We started heading for the bus and she stopped me. "Please," she stared deep into my eyes like she was about to kiss me, "Don't tell anyone. I don't want you guys to think I'm a whore." I just nodded. I couldn't speak.

The annoying, preteen-like girl, had just almost made me wet myself. I wouldn't dare tell the guys. But I was anxious to hear about the real Madeline Bailey

"Well, guys," started Matt," after getting to a decent degree of tipsy, "I never thought we could do it, but we found someone as great as the great Zacky the great, and…" he was hanging on me… Ok, so maybe I was underrating his tipsiness. "She's fuckin' hot, too."

"That she is," concurred Johnny and raised his glass. Jimmy nodded. I didn't say anything. I just sipped my beer and looked the other way.

"Come on, Syn!" shouted Matt.

"Come on, what?" I asked, slightly annoyed.

"You didn't think she was hot?"

"Sure she was hot, I guess," I trailed off. I didn't really like her. I don't know why. There was just something invading about her. I could tell I was going to be yelled at by the look on Shadows' face.

"You guess?" he asked, baffled. "Dude, she was fucking smoking and like, all over you!"

I laughed. "She was not all over me," I stated.

"My ass," he said, getting up from his barstool. "Oh," he giggled, raising his voice as to imitate Maddie. He placed a finger in his mouth and cooed, "I'm a Syn Gates fan…" He wrapped his arms around me and giggled, then pretended to flip his hair.

"She sounded and acted nothing like that," I said pushing him off of me.

"Oh yeah," he said, "Sorry." He grabbed a load of napkins and stuffed them under his shirt to mimic breasts, then returned his voice to that of a woman's and said, "Is that better, Synnie-poo?"

I waved him off, laughing and gulped down the rest of the beer. We went home then because the next day we would practice for the first time with Maddie.

The next day arrived sooner than I'd expected. We all met at the studio to practice. Shadows had called and given her directions. Of course, they wanted me to do it, but I declined. The boys and I were waiting for 15 minutes until she showed up with a little friend.

And when I say a little friend, I mean a gigantic, ripped, six feet plus tall, security guard who had her by the arm. The guys and I exchanged looks of confusion and the guard lowered his glasses. "This girl says she's with you." He motioned his head towards Maddie and gave her a dirty look. "This true?"

I wanted to say: "No, that's bullshit. Get this bitch outta here". But I knew if I did we would be back to square one. Johnny explained the whole thing to the security guard and he reluctantly let her arm go. She rubbed it while glancing at him as he walked out the door. "Jackass," she muttered, then spoke up. "I'm so sorry you guys! I didn't know I needed a fuckin' DNA sample to get in here," she laughed and started to unpack her guitar.

"Oh no, Maddie, it's our fault," said Matt standing up to help her. He crouched down to be at her eye level. "We should have told security sooner." I rolled my eyes as he placed a loving hand on her arm and said, "Does it hurt too bad?"

"No, it's fine, thanks," she said nonchalantly, while standing, "I just made it seem that way to make him feel bad." We all laughed. Except me, of course.

We commenced with practicing, going over the songs we mainly play at shows. We didn't bother with our first album; we didn't play it on tour and she could always learn later.

The whole practice I was getting bitched at by Matt. According to him, my mind was somewhere else. I wasn't getting into it. I was sucking the energy out of the room. I was being a little bitch.

It's all because of her. Maddie. She was making me like this. I really didn't like that girl. I didn't like the way she stood there idly twirling her hair. I didn't like the way she called me "Brian". "Brian, could you help me out with this part?" "Oh but Brian, I thought it went like this?" No one else called me Brian. Why did she have to? And I especially didn't like her constant apologies. I would say: "No, it's not in that key". And her response would always be: "OH-MY-GOD-I'M-SO-SORRY!".

She was too happy, too peppy. When we would work on the drum part or the bass line she always sat with a smile, running her dark brown hair through her fingers. There's no way in hell that any human being can be perfectly happy all the fucking time.

Practice was finally over. Before Maddie left she gave us each a hug and told us she couldn't wait to see us in a few days. That's when we would leave for tour. The hug thing was going great until she got to me. She stopped and raised an eyebrow. I looked at her confused.

"Is it okay for me to give you a hug, or are you gonna bite my head off?" she said with her hands on her hips. I guess she could tell I didn't like her. I just sort of shrugged and looked at my worn out combat boots, then at hers: white converses adorned with Sharpie artwork. "Is that a yes or a no?" she asked. She sounded like a teacher scolding a kindergartener.

"Yeah..." I muttered. I glanced at her eyes. She grinned, stood on her tip toes, and wrapped her arms around me. A warm, tingly sensation overcame my body. I couldn't move. My arms and legs were led, along with a certain something between my legs.

"See ya later, Brian," she whispered, almost seductively, in my ear. And then out of no where the warmness was gone and so was she.

I was still standing there dumbfounded. How could anyone, especially her, make me feel like that? "Later…" I breathed, knowing she couldn't hear. I thought for a moment. Maybe she's not that bad. We could actually be friends. Maybe more-

I was pulled from my mind by Matt's voice. "Yo, Syn," he said. I snapped my head towards him. "What the fuck was that?" His arms were crossed. I could see that Jim and John were on his side.

"What the fuck was what?" I knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Why do you have to be such an ass?"

"I'm not an ass! Just because I don't hump the girl like you do doesn't mean I'm a- "

"I was not humping her!"

"Bullshit you weren't! You have a girlfriend, Shads."

"I know that! I was not humping her!"

"No, you're right. You were full on penetration, raping her."

"FUCK YOU!"

"FUCK Y- "

"GUYS!" Jimmy screamed. We both looked at him in astonishment, Johnny too. "Just shut the fuck up! Who cares who's humping who or who's an ass? Now, we're going to be on the road with this girl for a year, maybe more. And from then on, she could even be a permanent replacement. So just grow the fuck up and learn to deal!"

We were all quiet after that. Jimmy usually doesn't yell. I was kind of scared. I knew Matt was too. And Johnny. "Yeah well," Matt stuttered under his breath, "I wasn't fucking humping her… And if you tell Val, I swear to God, Syn!"

"Enough," Jimmy said, holding up his hand. "Let's just go back to the apartment."

And we did. And we slept. And the next few days were lived in utter silence. Until it was finally time to go back on the road.

The guys agreed to pick Maddie up at her place. It was a chilly and early Saturday morning. The kind I hate. I hate every Saturday morning. I believe Saturdays are meant for sleeping in and doing nothing. So I was already in a bad mood.

What got me pissed even more was how fucking hard it was to find her god damned house. She had one of those weird addresses with like 200 numbers and the most common street name. Once we found the street, then there was the trouble of finding which apartment complex she lived in. There were dozens on the block that looked exactly alike.

Maddie lived in the "bad" part of town. The part of town where misfit kids roamed the streets and hookers waited on their corners. We finally came to a building that read the same address as the one MapQuest had given us. The front door was creaked open and windows were broken. Two children played ball in the front yard.

I was staring hard at the place, thinking how on earth could she live there? Her home didn't reflect the perky and positive woman that she was. I could feel the guys' eyes on me. I snapped my head away from the window of the bus to look at them. "What?" I barked.

They looked at each other as if I was crazy.

"Aren't you gonna go in?" asked Johnny.

I glared at him hard. Then at Matt who was laughing. "Why do, I have to go in?" I asked, irritated.

"Because none of us are going in," said Jimmy flipping through a magazine.

"But I don't wanna!" I whined like a child.

"Just go the fuck inside, Syn!" Matt said, his first words to me in days, "Jesus Christ…"

I pouted for a moment, then threw myself from my seat and got out of the bus. I walked to the door of the building with anger and yanked the door open. I looked for her name on the panel to buzz her. My eyes scanned down until I got to a "Madeline Chastity Bailey". I snorted with laughter. "Chastity," I thought aloud, "what a gay middle name." Then a voice inside said, "Shut the fuck up, Elwin," and I did.

I pressed the button and my ears were instantly filled with her voice. "Hey! You can come up; the door's unlocked. I'm just gonna be a few minutes." Before I could respond the connection was lost. I pushed on the door, which was indeed open, and made my way up to her apartment.

After climbing to the top fucking floor, I found her place and knocked on the door. I got no answer. I knocked again. Still no answer. I pressed in on the door a little most firmly and it creaked open. I slipped inside, hoping to go unnoticed.

Maddie's home wasn't as bad as I expected. The front room was her living room and kitchen. The living room had a nice plump sofa, coffee table overflowing with magazines, and a decent sized TV. Her kitchen was basic: stove, oven, fridge, counter, toaster, sink. It lacked a table though. I guess she didn't have many friends over.

I sat down on her couch, which was quite comfortable, and swung my legs up on the table. The walls of the apartment were plain and white; old prints hung in select spots while paintings were in others. My eyes searched for the remote to the TV but fell on something else.

A business card on the stacks of Cosmo Girls and Vogues. I held it between the tips of my fingers. It was pink and white and read in bold, black letters "Silk" and in smaller letters underneath "Finest Gentlemen's Club in the OC". I raised a brow when I saw her number and name on it.

"Stop snooping through my stuff, Brian!" The card instantly dropped from my hand. I jerked around to meet Maddie's accusing eyes. My mouth opened slightly, as if to say something.

"I-I-I.." I stuttered. Her angered eyes soon turned into humorous ones.

She laughed, "I'm just kidding, relax." She looked around curiously. "Where's everyone else?"

"In the bus," I said, my heart still pounding. I would ask her about it later… maybe… "Come on," I said getting up, "Let's go."

"Does it look like I'm ready to go?" she asked pointing to her body. She had most likely gotten out of the shower because her hair was damp. She wore sweat pants and a tight tank top that clearly showed she was cold.

"Um…" I didn't know how to answer. "Yes?"

She shook her head disapprovingly. "Silly Brian. No, I am not ready. Give me like, five minutes, okay?"

Five? Damn I thought she'd take more then that. "Ok, five."

She grinned. "Great! Oh, do you want some ice cream or something? Mi casa es su casa, or however it goes. I took French."

"No, I just wanna get the hell out of here," I snapped. Her grin turned into a pout. I felt bad, almost instantly.

"Well you're not getting any with an attitude like that, young man."

I rolled my eyes. "Can you please just hurry it up?"

She huffed. "Fine. If you want to speed this up anymore, you can start taking my stuff downstairs."

"Yeah okay, where is it?" Maddie pointed to three huge black, white, and pink polka-dotted bags and her guitar case next to the door. "You've got to be shitting me." She shook her head no and made that "nuh-uh" noise that two year olds make when they mean to say "no". "There is no way you're taking all of that."

"Yes there is." I was starting to get pissed.

"Just take what you need," I said trying to be reasonable and "nice".

"I need all of it." When I get pissed I start strikes.

"You don't need all of that." I motioned to her luggage.

"Yes I do." Strike one: short simple answers tick me off. Especially childish ones from her.

"No, you don't."

"How would you like it if I said you can't bring all your bags?" Strike two: long answers that are equally childish. How would I like if I can't bring all my bags? Jeez.

"Well, I don't have 50 million bags." I think I hated this girl.

"Does that look like 50 million bags to you?" she said, her hands on her hips. Strike three: condescending me. I had had it.

"This is what you're doing," I said in an annoyed voice, "You are either unpacking all your fucking shit and fitting it into one fucking bag, or leaving fucking two of them. Got it?"

Her glee-filled eyes turned to scared ones as she crouched away from me. She looked like she was going to cry. Oh shit… I thought. Is she really gonna cry? She didn't though. She just muttered an "Ok…" and dragged her stuff to her room.

I thought about what I said and how I said it. I didn't mean to make her feel bad. I was about to follow her into her room and tell her it was okay to bring everything. But then the guys came in.

"What the fuck is taking so long, Syn?" Johnny said, looking ticked.

"She's just getting ready, John," I said.

"We're gonna be late," said Jimmy.

"Late for what?" I said, "Our first gig isn't until tomorrow night. Just give her five minutes, guys." And that was that. I had just stood up for a girl I said I hated.

Maddie came out of her room just as five minutes had ended, her hair in long pig tails with pink and white checkered bows. She wore tight jeans with holes in the knees and layers of tank tops with a torn tee-shirt over. She had only one bag in her hand.

"Sorry you guys, I decided to do a little repack." She made the act of pushing hair behind her ears, even though it was already there. She gave me a timid look, then looked back at the ground.

I felt like shit.

We made our way down the stairs. I asked her, "Maddie, need some help with your bag?" That classic smile returned to her lips and she handed me her sole bag. I smiled back at her and the next thing she did I never expected. She grabbed my face and planted a huge kiss on my cheek. Blood rushed to my face and I knew I was blushing. This tour couldn't be that bad…

OK AND HERE IS CHAPTER THREE: